To take something away from him

a high-school girlfriend
years later in a cheap motel
shifts to a rundown dorm
another highschool friend
the one who died
sick in a room down the hall
I never see him
the girl is taking care of
the one who died
I suspect they are fucking
the door is open to my room
I am writing at a desk
I can see down the hall
I can hear the one who died
the girl has told me
to meet her in the hallway
I stand up to change
take off my jeans and underwear
then quickly put the jeans
back on
forgetting the underwear
then put the underwear
on over my jeans
realize how foolish I look
hear the girl coming down the hall
to sneak into my room
sexual atmosphere
I am trying to take my underwear off
stumbling and hopping
around the room
then I hear the one who died
calling her again
now suspicious
that she has been trying to see me
she turns around
to return to him
my underwear still outside my jeans
I feel like a fool
for hoping
to take something away from him