I know he's already gone

a high school friend
who died not long ago
Tom Ellis
and myself
have been traveling
there is a joke
about who packed the lightest
for this particular journey
I have far less
than him
and offer to change luggage
he is competitive
but knows this is impossible
we are in the Student Union at UT
upstairs resting
our bags next to our chairs
we have arrived here
but are going somewhere else
I leave Tom with the bags
and go off to the restroom
it is an old school bathroom
out of Grand Central
man and women together
black and white tiles
attendants in uniforms
I am disoriented
but eventually find what I need
I've been gone a long time
worry about Tom
and my luggage
then go to a coffee shop
in the Union
first floor
standing in a long line
friend Charlie from Bellingham
shows up
knows the barista
a solitary female barista
who is experienced
but taking her time
even with all of the people
we are bantering
with each other
she makes my drink
takes it away to find a lid
the crowd is pushing close to me
not threatening
but too friendly
I make a comment
about the man behind me
trying to have sex with me
the crowd laughs
I look back to reassure him
and he is gone
replaced with a man
I am supposed to know
Charlie says everyone knows him
I act like I do
but I don't
the barista is still fumbling around
I apologize
say I am in a hurry
and need to go
she and everyone
is taken aback
by my rudeness
I dissemble
but I have broken the friendly spell
she gives me my drink
I realize I've been gone a long time
and am concerned about Tom
worried that he may be upset
that he left without me
as I walk up the stairs
to where I had last seen him
I know he's already gone