Friday, July 2, 2010

With old photos of three women

top floor of a skyscraper
party at a restaurant for me
knock two remote controls
off the edge
ex girlfriend comes in with another man
ignores me
have to pay for everything myself
use money I recently inherited
from a distant relative
I find a locket
with old photos of three women

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I can only see the void behind her eyes

hands above the keyboard
spread out over the keys
mining the memory

analyzing this dream
after I dreamed it
while I was still dreaming
the insistent
wake up wake up
write it down
write it down

getting out of the car
in South Texas
just down from Austin
not San Marcos
but another old town
threaded like a charm
on the highway
into a bar that is a combination
of the Texas Showdown
Hole in the Wall
and San Marcos Showdown
the old Showdown manager is there EM
myself and my best friend
from when I was in grade school MM
walk in and expected to work
I am immediately assumed
to be the bartender/ manager
a few moments after we arrive
a big crowd walks in
I take over
trying to make sure
everyone has their drinks
all old regulars
some I think I recognize
but it is only someone who looks like them
MM doesn't really give a shit
laughing at how hard I am working
that I don't know how
to make some of the drinks
a girl orders
a sin seven
I take the order
walk over to MM and ask
Seven-up and Gin he tells me
seems the entire staff quit the night before
and I am here to take over
beer and food deliveries start arriving
the old manager
wanders over
in the way
pulls open a box of chips
breaks open a bag
full of ravioli shaped things
says they are taco chips
says this isn't what I wanted
guys at the bar are laughing
I tell them I know what happened
you told them you wanted some sort of
in his voice now
taco nacho kind of chip kind of thing
a  moment
to see if he takes offense to me imitating him
he smiles
the bar laughs
like old times
MM calls me over
says the guy at the end of the bar
needs to be cut off
won't listen
I go talk to him
talk him down
ask him how he's going to get home
still the middle of the afternoon
even though the bar is completely dark
he fades away
another regular
has a sort of daughter
he is drunk
the daughter seems under age
acting mentally impared
she hasn't bathed in a while
drooling not making sense
I ask about her
someone tells me not to worry about her
kind of a joke
she's his artificial intelligence AI
bar laughs
story was she was his kid
who died
he made an AI construct
out of his memories of her
like a hologram
then the AI became conscious
but only at the idiot level
the guy takes it everywhere now
I look at the AI
its visual image is dependent
upon how our eyes process edges
lateral inhibition
if you look at here closely enough
you can see
our visual reality pouring into her
like water into vast circular waterfall
the mist rising up
from the center
gives us a sense
there is a physical being present
when there is none
the AI looks at me
I can tell she has been sexually abused
has no sense of right or wrong
her eyes are broken
mouth torn
still drooling
she is trying to put on
a seductive face
but knowing what she is now
I can only see the void behind her eyes
I tell her father
to get her out of here
I'm not serving her
everyone is telling me
to calm down

I wake into the dream
that contains that one
start thinking about the AI
start hearing the voice
telling me to
wake up
wake up
wake up
write it down