To take something away from him

a high-school girlfriend
years later in a cheap motel
shifts to a rundown dorm
another highschool friend
the one who died
sick in a room down the hall
I never see him
the girl is taking care of
the one who died
I suspect they are fucking
the door is open to my room
I am writing at a desk
I can see down the hall
I can hear the one who died
the girl has told me
to meet her in the hallway
I stand up to change
take off my jeans and underwear
then quickly put the jeans
back on
forgetting the underwear
then put the underwear
on over my jeans
realize how foolish I look
hear the girl coming down the hall
to sneak into my room
sexual atmosphere
I am trying to take my underwear off
stumbling and hopping
around the room
then I hear the one who died
calling her again
now suspicious
that she has been trying to see me
she turns around
to return to him
my underwear still outside my jeans
I feel like a fool
for hoping
to take something away from him

The books are burning

childhood home
perhaps in Mexico
but on the side of a hill
steep precipitous walls
overhanging angles
from a great height
a team of scientists
working in the backyard
because of volcanic activity
sink holes and rising ground
the hill is becoming a volcano
rising upwards
ancient graves are being pushed out of the earth
archaeologist are working to excavate
I am walking around carefully
no wanting to get in the way
there are huge pile of books
and record albums all around
as I move  down the hill
I step from each rocking pile to another
I am looking for a viking portable books
Shakespeare, Thoreau, Plato
I see several others but not those
the volcanic activity is increasing
I am suddenly very high in the air
swaying back and forth dangerously
lava is flowing below

Infinitely deep absolutely untroubled

I am driving my step-father
through a neighborhood
old Austin maybe
trying to find an address
a house where I once lived
or meeting someone
late afternoon
but intensely overcast
he and I are talking
about how low the clouds are
a strange siren sounds
Jerry asks me what it could be for
at first I don't know
but then I realize
it is a tornado siren
just then close by
between the houses and trees
as we drive
I see the tornado
it is composed of pulsing light
diamond patterns circling around
almost like a UFO
alien and strange
moving closer to us
I take a left into a warehouse area
the tornado closer
houses cars trees dirt and debris
are flying around it
the pulsing light pattern
giving off a rhythmic hum
we park at low concrete building
some sort of utility structure
there are people crowded around the entrance
we stand with them
watching the tornado approach
it seems like it is going to move safely passed us
then turns directly towards us
now the pattern on the tornado
are the bright diamonds on a snake
the tornado moves sinuous snake-like
directly towards us
I am transfixed
hypnotized
by the movement of the diamonds
as it approaches
someone pulls me inside
there is a dark hallway
we are behind a set of double metal doors
I am holding the doors closed
using all of my strength
the tornado is just outside the door
there is tremendous noise and violence outside
the doors are warping outwards
and in the openings
I can see bones and blood
churning in a vortex
I know I won't be able to hold the doors much longer
people are screaming and trying to help
the doors are now fabric stretched
my hands hold the handles together
the four hinges staking down the sides
sheets in the wind
I can see into the center
of the vortex
a churning maw of bones and blood
faces and bodyparts
and a blackness in the very center
like a still pool
reflecting nothing
infinitely deep
absolutely untroubled