I know they are coming up here to try to kill us

in an old house
with my mother
she is cleaning
organizing
the house is old and rotting
walls painted white
paint flaking
there are a lot of wasps outside
summer day hot
we are in the hall
she is poking around the wood
says she thinks the wasps
are in the walls
she pokes through the wall
wasps begin to pour out
we run into a bathroom
wasps flying all around
but not stinging us
we stuff towels under the door
still more wasps are getting in
they are inside
all of the walls of the house
poring out of vents and sinks
the entire house is a wasp nest

later with JM and my mother
strange house in a new city
old house on a hill
we are renovating it
JM leaves to get supplies
on a bicycle
returns quickly
says there are some weird people
camped out down the street
at the bottom of the hill
I go up onto a tower
overlooking the street
I can see them
they are watching me
yelling threats
I yell back
antagonizing them
I realize they are cannibals
my mother is upset
that I've antagonized them
I look for them
and they are gone
and I know they are coming up here
to try to kill us

It feels so good amidst all the horror I don't care

in a car on the highway
lawrence is driving
on the loop around a city
surreal building structures
impossible rizzoli buildings
then a mushroom cloud
with psychedelic fractal paisleys
it is hypnotic mesmerizing
multicolored to the point of obscenity
all throbbing as the mushroom cloud rises
I cannot take my eyes from it
I say to lawrence
fuck it it's all over
he is driving calmly
steering around the wrecks
of other cars
from seeing the explosion
this is just the beginning
he says
totally relaxed
the explosion has destroyed
the base of one of the tall buildings
a deco oz structure
the main tower is collapsing
in slow motion
seems as if it will fall on us
lawrence is unconcerned
he takes my hand
and sucks on my fingers
his eyes like a cartoon deer
all al black and shining
long curved lashes
watching me lovingly
as he takes another finger
into his mouth
it is disconcerting and disturbing
but pleasurable
I do not pull away
the psychedelic mushroom cloud
continues to rivet my attention
lawrence is no longer watching the road
just continuing to lick my fingers
it feels so good amidst all the horror
I don't care
I know we will die soon