my family
biking out in the deserts of New Mexico
starts raining
stop in 50s style rest stop and motel
out in the cactus gardens
bus stops
moves on
man says in Spanish that it is full of whores
la autobus esta llena de putas
I begin talking to him in Spanish
an ex-priest friend of mine is listening
another Mexican man next to me says
the president's son like a lot of whores
I walk into the restaurant area
a hacienda court yard
we might be staying overnight
looking for a picnic table
place to put a tent
people from the old bar are there
go inside the shop
my sister and I playing games
the family is there
my last girlfriend is there with her son
she gets a photo made into a t-shirt that she is wearing
picture of her laying back on a table next to her son
who is laughing in a booth
she is acting like she is bench pressing nothing
shirt says world's greatest bench presser
my stepfather and I walk around the shop
looking at guns and knives
wife of the owner tries to sell me a mis-made gun
she says it is very interesting
weird pistol and hatchet blade formed together
comes with a black leather holster
I don't want it
my mother gives me some money to buy it
a lot of cash
end up buying it
even though I am worried about money
I get more change back than I thought
this makes me happy
the lady is now walking around doing book returns
tries to sell me a copy of the Life of Pi
tells me it is a good deal
my sister and I tell her we've already read it
go to play games with my sister
my stepfather gives me some quarters to play
I am able to open up the machine's coin box
take quarters out of it
I find a big old half dollar coin
put it into my pocket when no one is looking
a guess the tune music game
my sister keeps telling me that I am doing it wrong
I lose game after game
soon I only have one game left
give the game to her
she starts playing
writing mathematical notation on a blackboard
at the same time
at first I think she is playing Pachebel's Canon
then realize that it is actually the Concierto de Aranjuez
writing these sweeping notations on a blackboard
looks like calculus but it is not
notations indicate the interior architecture of the music
diagrams of the swelling emotions
I am talking to my mother at the diner-like food counter
my sister keeps calling for my mother to come over
look and listen to what she is doing
yells out
this is what the music means
