Dancing in insane spasms calling upon the gods

waiting with a group of men
at a hotel
near an airport
or in a strange city
as if a flight
was delayed
feels like a disaster happened
somewhere else
basic service are shut down
movie stereotypes
the snarky cynical guy
the handsome leading man
the nervous family man
and others with no faces
it is s form of dis-ease
or a spell or curse
but when it hits you
you instantly vaporize
leaving only a skeletal left hand
but it is not made of bone
it is kind of cut tin
flat and black
we are all engaged
in strange superstitious rituals
to ward off the dis-ease
I am paired with the leading man
the other two
go off on their own
we suspect
they are plotting against us
in the hotel lobby
I catch the cynical guy
in a bird outfit
like a shaman
dancing in insane spasms
calling upon the gods
or the spirits
it is so unsettle
that I wake up

A freakish figure in a wheelchair rolls by the table

an old Bellingham friend
AH is at Temple Bar
I am sitting at a table
by myself
and she stops by to say hello
but it is awkward
she appears much older
more emaciated and weakened
than when I last saw her
I am concerned
about her appearance
but say nothing
another friend and co-worker
KVS comes up to me
and accuses me of a crime
I cannot remember
sitting at a nearby table
I see an older friend from Austin
PXN
he is working on a laptop
writing code
he is happy to see me
and is excited about his work
while all of this is going on
a freakish figure
in a wheelchair
rolls by the table
PXN sees him
but ignores him
he goes away
but returns again soon
he looks like the figure of Death
from a Holbien woodcut
David Lee Roth
is sitting in the corner
with a hat and sunglasses
trying to be incognito
the Temple Bar
is more like Ruby's now

there is a shift
and I driving with TW
a friend from up here in Maine
we park on a fire station parking lot
his truck is full of houseplants
we go away
and when we return
a fireman is writing a ticket
says we can't ever park
in the fire station lot
TW tries to talk him out of it

another shift
I am with ASF and his son
there is a man
who has these complex
hard chocolate toys
they are for dogs
he makes them by
pooping them out
he is surprised
that no one
wants to touch his toys
and that his dog
does not want to eat them

That arcing splotch of sticky white goo

in a living room with JGM
I am working on my laptop
in a chair in the corner
she is across the room from me
I am also watching a big screen
with a lot of high tech gauges
JGM and I are talking
I set my laptop down
beside the chair
go off and do something
when I come back
there is a dull white wax
all over the keyboard and screen
there is also a lot of wax
on the big screen
I am upset
I cannot figure out
how this happened
JGM is not concerned
for a minute
I think she had something
to do with it
but then I see a small candle
beside the chair
it's the only explanation
somehow the candle spilled wax
all over the laptop
I must have knocked
the laptop against it
and then unknowingly
slung it over the big screen
I have no idea
how I am going to get it off
adding to my frustration
is that the wax has ruined
the newness of the laptop
I know that even if I find some way
to peel it off
there will still be traces
that will always remain
that arcing splotch of sticky white goo
will always remain
however ghostly
upon the laptop

A monster we were not previously aware of that has awoken

in a house
at Inwood
staying as a guest
another man is there
staying in another room
perhaps Lawrence
almost as if we are servants
of workers
Lawrence has upset another worker
in another part of the house
he acts like it is nothing
but I can see he is worried
there is a noise
like a manhole cover being moved
a huge structural part
of the house / prison / hotel
being opened
torn apart
the sense there is a monster
we were not previously aware of
that has awoken
is coming to get us

I realize I can see love inside of his eyes now

in Austin
on campus
hot white summer day
walking around the buildings
the run along MLK
there is a house
a rental house
that Jerry is staying in
I go in through the back door
I am quiet
not sure if Jerry is home
I realize he is sleeping
I know that Aanya and Cricket
old dogs from my childhood
long dead
are there
and he is taking care of them
I know he has been gone
for a long time
and I wonder
how the dogs are doing
I can hear him
sleeping in the bedroom
the door is partly open
suddenly Aanya comes running up
and is excited to see me
I never really liked the dog
and felt bad about that
I am surprised at
how happy I am to see Aanya
I wonder about the cataracts
Aanya was nearly blind
and see her eyes
are like clear black marbles
with no fogginess at all
and I am so happy for him
as I am petting him
and laughing
I realize I can see love
inside of his eyes now

The Cow Parable: A well known story that I can look up after I wake up

my sister is driving
me and another girl
a friend of hers
around Austin
old Austin
but are different
she is taking a short cut
through a parking lot
of a closed business
abandoned
up around 29th street
me and the friend
are laughing
at how crazy she is
to be going this way
around the corner
in the little strip shopping center
where Conan's Vulcan
Straight Music
the porn theater
and Oat Willies
all used to be
I am in the parking lot
with the FringeWare crew
they are lined up
as if for a military inspection
we are all laughing
Justin says
I should tell them
the Zen parable
about the cow and hope
I know this is a clever parable
that needs to be told
 in a particular way
or the punchline is ruined
but I can't remember
exactly how to tell it
the scene shifts
to my grandfather's garage
at the old house on Inwood
in Dallas
I am there with FringeWare guys
my sister and the other girl
two workers are in the garage
from Otter Point
they are using lots of rope
I had left some of my own rope
which I need now
to work on my own project
perhaps the telling of the cow parable
but I can't find it
I ask them if
they accidentally
took my rope
they say no
one of them is
Jon Hamm from Mad Men
they are taking braided rope
and unbraiding them
to use the strands
in whatever project
they are working on
I only need a few strands
I think about taking theirs
but realize it would be wrong
even though they wouldn't care
then I find my rope
but they have taken it
and it is tied to a
block and tackle system
and I do not take it
I am trying to figure out
how to attach something
to the back of the car
I keep thinking about
the parable of the cow
that has to do with hope
I can barely remember it
in the dream
but I feel like
if I just start telling it
the rest will come
it feels like it is
a famous story
that I can look up
after I wake up

this alerts me to the dream
and in a half conscious state
I try to remember the parable
but can only think
about the heroic pig joke
where the traveling salesman
is at the farmer's dinner table
and there is a pig
with one leg missing
eating at the table with them
salesman asks
what's with the pig?
farmer says
that pig saved Suzy from the fire
then saved Bobby in the well
salesman says
so how did it lose its leg
farmers says
a pig that special
you don't want to eat all at once
and I think this is the cow parable
the cow is hope
a cow that special
you don't want to eat all at once

I really don't know why I went in to the Hole in the first place

in Austin
around the Hole in the Wall
and the Showdown
Bellingham people there also
sees as if I am talking to JGM
in the dream
I am telling her a story
feels like I am embellishing
about walking behind he Hole
and sensing the presence of Lawrence's ghost
almost feels like
he is going to step out of the shadows
I say to her
when the truth is
that when I walked passed
those dark places
there was nothing
I thought of him
but there was no presence
in front of the Hole
in the daytime
summer
a crowd gathered in front
DR is there
she is working tonight
but is also waiting to go in
Someone mentions
that SG from Bellingham is there
I am standing next to a bus stop
there is an advertisement
a photograph of a woman
someone point it out to me
then points her out
there in crowd
the woman walks over
smiles in acknowledgment
I tell her
that's good likeness
I go into the Hole
a crowd of people
I don't know
lots of young kids
grade school
like a YMCA camp
I see SG at a table
with other Bellingham people
I think they will all
be surprised to see me
and will make a thing of it
but no one gets up
SG gives me a nod
no one really cares
if I am here or not
I really don't know
why I went in to the Hole
in the first place