Monday, November 7, 2016

The light is luminous coming through the white quilt

atmosphere of
an ominous doom
a sense of my mother's presence
of her fragility
a single mother
trying to make it through the world
being preyed upon
involved backstory here
implications of a cover-up
of bodies buried in a yard
the land at Inwood
in Dallas
where we were all raised
the front yard
stretching down to the road
the old mansion style house
white columns
green shutters
gravel drive
bounded by woods
cedar trees along the fence line
I am secretly working
on a car parked
over to the side of the house
in the grass
off the drive
the car is covered
by a white quilt-like blanket
I am dismantling
what seems a fuel tank
but it is as complex as a clock
I am removing springs and tubes
from the lid of it
feeling triumphant
in how I discovered this mechanism
a crucial piece of evidence
that will serve to exonerate
someone falsely accused
maybe my mother
I am working on the pieces
the screws and parts
carefully set down in the long dry grass
around the car
I am autistically happy
confident I'll be able
to put everything back together
it feels like evening
waves of cicadas buzzing
summer sweetness to the air
I am almost finished
on the far side of the car
away from the gravel drive
my mother is inside the house
alone and worried
I can't wait to go in
and tell her about my discovery
about this complex device
I hear a car come up the gravel drive
tires slowly approaching
I duck down and slide myself
partly under the car
the white quilt cover
blocks my view
but I can see the light luminous
through it
and vague shadows
the loud broken muffler sound
of the car approaching
my fear is
it is coming towards me
whoever is driving
will discover me
and know that I have found them out
the car stops
the engine is turned off
footsteps through dry grass
again I am fearful
the step are coming towards me
then a fist banging on a door
they are there for my mother
the killer is at her door
I know
she knows who it is
I want to let her know
I am out here
that I have found a way to save her
but I am frozen with fear
under the car
I know
if I make any noise
the killer will hear me
and walk over and find me
hiding under the car
and kill me
I suddenly have an image
of a decayed corpse
of a black man
under the car
again the banging on the door
I don't want my mother
to be scarred inside
I don't want her to answer the door
I want the killer to leave
I don't want him to find me
I hear footsteps
coming through the grass
walking towards me
I think about the dismantled parts
of the device I had been working on
down around my feet
I know if the killer finds them
he will know I am under the car
he will know I know who he is
and what he has done
the order of the removal of the screws
is vital to proving his guilt
and these screws are sitting
precariously in the grass
if he kicks them
it will be impossible to recover them
I can hear him coming through the grass
the light is luminous
coming through the white quilt