Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I wonder if I am the cause of all these troubles

active and dynamic dreams
throughout the night
disciplining myself
to not allow the part of me
that wants to remember
to shape the dream
in the process of remembering
the observer always altering
the thing he is observing
the faint mental pressures
upon my part
to stay as far away
from the dream
as possible
standing in the outer dark
liminal zones
the figures in the dream
begin to act suspiciously
towards me
as if they know
I am up to something
trying too hard to not try
to do anything
an old girlfriend
who is an attorney
is questioning me
a casual interrogation
about where I have been
and what I have been up to
at first
it seems to be generated
out of a pleasant curiosity
then out of jealousy
but there is no reason
for her to be jealous
and I sense
the questioning
is coming from a deeper doubt
later I am in a park
with another friend
who is avoiding a woman
who wants him to cheat
on his wife
who he is faithful to
walking around the park
avoiding the woman
he's on the phone with his wife
she feels like
something is going on
he complains to me
his anxiety about the other women
who is pursuing him
has caused his wife
to become suspicious
we are coordinating a meeting
to reconcile this with her
everyone in the park
is now suspicious of us
and I wonder if I am the cause
of all these troubles