Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Moving in a black blur of fury and violence

there is a party
a celebration
for me
or concerning me
preparations are being made
in a large luxurious house
extended family
going to the store
for supplies
others arriving and helping out
an overall atmosphere of joy
I am walking around
with my shirt off
and this feels natural and fine
wearing blue jeans
and boots
there is a group of younger people
buzzed haircuts
and green and blue
dye jobs
tattoos with script writing
running up their legs
others are arriving
for the celebration
in long stretch limos
others using similar limos
to go to the store
sometimes it is raining
me and group of others
are running for one of the limos
in the rain
and it takes off
before we get there
loses control
and spins around 360
in the street
narrowly missing
another parked limo
but it is fine
we all laugh
someone even caught it
on their phone
the only shadow
within the dream
is a gorilla like animal
that morphs back and forth
at times into a wolf
I know how to deflect it
and almost play with it
but I know it is a deadly game
I walk into a room
still with no shirt
there are a lot of guests now
many well dressed and made up
amongst them
is a woman
who has had difficulties
with me
and wished
to have nothing to do
with me
in any way
I am surprised to see her there
but I don't mention this
go over to the chair
where she is sitting
and say hello
she doesn't get up
but purses her lips
as an invitation for me
to bend down and kiss her
this seems strange and awkward
considering our history
but I do it
and then quickly wonder
if that was appropriate
or if I misread her
but she seems fine
as I walk away
I am suddenly self-conscious
of not wearing a shirt
and smile to think
of what my mother
would say about me
walking around a formal party
with no shirt on
I go into a nice bedroom
and a large elegant
dressing room
to find a shirt to wear
my stepfather is there
having just returned from Europe
with a fine leather briefcase
he opens it to
and I see how everything
is perfectly organized
and tucked into
appropriate places
I am immediately aware
that an attack
by the gorilla wolf creature
is imminent
and know
I need to wait
to put the shirt on
until after it has attacked
I can see it coming
from across the room
moving in a black blur
of fury and violence
I am not worried